Photo By: Alan Brennan
Pressure from peers, parents, and finances change teens’ dreams
Most eight-year-olds do not say that when they grow up, they want to get a 1520 on the SAT, or work for a data entry firm. They dream of space and the ocean and castles, futures beyond their wildest imagination. At some point later on, reality starts to ground these dreams. Future mermaids become future marine biologists, future princesses become future politicians.
As people age, their goals and dreams are further influenced by the world around them. Aging can open a person’s eyes to their surrounding environment, often unmasking the rose-tinted lens they viewed the world with as a child.
Abbey Koory ’24 states, “I think a big part of growing up is realizing things and losing the sense of mystique, and losing your inner hope… So those ambitions I would say, for me personally, just kind of fizzled [out] because the realities of attaining that aspiration became obviously difficult.”
Mimi Wang ’24 encountered a similar experience, “When you’re a little kid… everything is so wonderful. ‘Oh, I want to grow up and I want to be this thing.’ But as you grow up, you kind of realize it’s not all fine because you have to face some issues, like financial issues, and other really annoying adult-y stuff. And I think that changes the way you feel about your dreams.”
By the time young adulthood creeps in, discussions of future aspirations often turn to “what major is realistic?” or “how can I actually make some money?” or even “what will make me seem good enough?” What once felt like limitless options get narrower and narrower, and pressure builds to decide a post-graduation life as soon as possible.
A survey conducted by BestColleges found that “52% of high school students feel pressured to make decisions about their future too soon.”
Roosevelt High School Counselor Ron Stuart meets with students daily, specifically seniors, to advise them on their steps after high school. He describes Roosevelt as having a culture that puts a strong emphasis on going to college. “I think it’s 90% of our graduates that go on to college…So most students come in knowing that at the end of my four years, this is a step to that next step, and it’s going to college. I think some people find out the hard way. I think they go to college, and they realize, ‘What am I doing here? I only did this because everyone else was doing it.’”
Last year, Stuart often met with Yuena Kim ’23 to discuss her future as she decided between University of Washington and University of California Berkeley.
Stuart noted, “We brought up in conversation the Instagram effect of saying where you are going to school, you know, making this announcement. And how from Roosevelt, not a ton of kids are going to Berkeley, tons of kids are going to UW, and it’s right down the street. And so [going to UW] doesn’t have the big splash that Berkeley does.”
Kim, now a student at UW, said, “this college decision process is influenced by a lot of external factors, like the perceived prestige that Mr. Stuart brings up. But also the fact that sometimes you have to make the sacrifice and go to a school that you didn’t necessarily think of going to because that’s realistically the only choice you can afford.”
She added, “there is that idea that once you get your options back, all you have to do is pick the ‘right’ choice for you and you’re all set – which may be the reality for a lot of Roosevelt kids, given the demographic.” She expanded that with the majority being white and of upper socioeconomic class, their privilege is prevalent while making decisions regarding steps after high school.
Another factor that often influences a student’s choice for their future is their parents. In a 2022 survey by the Student Research Foundation, 63% of the 1000 people polled stated their parents influenced what their career plans looked like. Koory aligns herself with this idea, stating, “ I feel pressure from myself and also from my parents because I don’t want to not reach the level of success that they attained.”
Wang echoed this sentiment. “I think pressure from parents and looking at how successful they are [can impact future steps].” Stuart said he has observed this situation many times as a counselor. “Parents will influence their kid on ‘this is where you should go, because if you don’t go to this particular school, you won’t be as successful’… there’s this pressure to go to this right school, and everything will be perfect if you get into this school. And it’s not true. You can go to lots of schools, and everything will work out just as well.”
As children, many teenagers may have had big dreams which changed over time, due to the reality of a world where societal and financial factors play a role in deciding what career one ultimately chooses.
When she was younger, Koory wanted to be a veterinarian and an astronaut. Now she’s looking into psychology and environmental science. She’s shifted her job prospects because “it’s too much work, I guess. And I guess my interest has changed as well.”
As for Wang, she wanted to be an actress growing up. But now, she is interested in becoming a computer scientist. The pressures in her life changed her job aspirations, said Wang. “I think people telling me that I might not be able to make as much money as I want if I went with the path I wanted to as a kid. And also, pressure from family.”
While these pressures can impact a person’s dreams, Stuart believes there is a clear message: “You can’t predict the future. You don’t know that you may not like this certain thing. So I wish we could have people find out ahead of time that you don’t need to do this thing, you can do this other thing.”
