1) Be HOT!
If you aren’t already rich, like most of us out here in these streets, be hot. Be stunningly beautiful. Be so incredibly pretty that you become irresistible by all who’s wallets are bigger than their ego.
2) Fake It Until You Make It.
If you want to be rich, you can use the Donald Trump model called Pretending Like You Are Something You Are Not. This is a technique Trump uses as president….but remember, this publication is unbiased.
3) Become the Crowned Saudi Prince.
Those Saudi Arabian oil reserves are plentiful so if you are really serious about being rich, #tapthat. BUT please leave Yemen alone, children are dying.
4) Marry a Lakeside Student.
Plain and simple, if you are looking for wealth, marry someone who goes to Lakeside because chances are they have money and are smart.
5) Run an international Drug Cartel (w/out getting caught).
If you are really desperate, a life of crime may be the key to a life of endless riches. Being a drug lord may be a viable career for some, HOWEVER, don’t forget that drugs are illegal…teenagers tend to forget that.
**Disclaimer: this is for comedic purposes only**
