It’s the Homecoming game and Roosevelt High School students gather at Memorial Stadium, eager to experience the long-awaited, good ol’ fashioned All-American tradition of football, despite many not knowing most of the rules.
The students pack into the stadium seats, anxious to talk to their friends. The only thing on their mind was to get that sweet, sweet BeReal … oh and watch the game, of course.
Let’s face it, when we lose this badly, not even the marching band’s awe-inspiring performance of “Industry Baby” can catch our attention. The beat drops harder in the marching band’s performance than our hopes of winning the game.
But what do the fans know? Most of them couldn’t tell you where the “center” lines up (the center of the line), what the “kicker” does (kick the ball), or the job of the “defensive line” (defend at the line). They seem to appreciate the three-minute social break in between each play more than the eight seconds of actual football.
On the other hand, can you blame them? For every eight seconds of football, there are 30 seconds of huddling, scheming, audibling, and congratulating. Add in the timeouts, breaks at the quarters, halftime, referee discussions, and the non-football playing which make the game feel longer than a Monday morning math class.
Seriously though, the amount of blood, sweat, and tears that football players put into the sport is admirable (with an emphasis on sweat – just walking past the locker room, you are slapped in the face with that smell).
Without all of that hard work and determination from the team, we wouldn’t have tailgating, watch parties, homecoming games, and the community that football creates. Win or lose, we can all appreciate something about football.
Disclaimer: This article is satire.
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