Going outside sucks. Who would want to go on adventures and experience the natural world? We honestly don’t need to leave our homes to go on adventures and discover something new; that’s what Youtube and Netflix are for. There is no sense in wasting your time doing something you could do from the comfort of your own couch. I am completely appalled by the fact that Roosevelt has a club dedicated to going outdoors; there are so many other clubs that have an actual reason for joining. Mosquitos run rampant and come in great numbers anywhere where you think it might be “fun” to travel. Unless you want Malaria or Zika or both, I suggest you stay indoors.
Picture this: you go on vacation with your family to Florida. All of a sudden, you notice a rash on your arm after returning from a hike near a swamp. Once you look closer, you notice there’s a Tick under your skin! This probably wouldn’t have happened if you just stayed inside. The next thing you know, your family wants you to spend even more time outside and get off your phone. For some reason they want you to live your life instead of playing BitLife. But you know what’s fun? Going swimming in a lake on a tropical July afternoon. Don’t worry about the toxic algae covering the top layer of water. Playing on the soft, white sandy beach and laying in the sun might warm you up for a few minutes, but you’ll be sure to have a sunburn in no time. Enjoying the beachfront view from your hotel window is good enough, although you might now have a Vitamin D deficiency.
The chances of getting killed are far higher in the wilderness compared to staying in your comfortable home. Taking the risk of going outside could cost you your life, and for what? Getting exercise and exploring a new side of the world you’ve never experienced? Lame.
Going on a hike with your best friends through the beautiful mountains might seem nice at first, but you will be so tired and sore once you get home that you’ll wish you never left your house and spent time with those people anyway. Breathing the fresh air of the not-so-great outdoors seems like a scam to be honest; all the wildfires nowadays are burning down the great forests and harming wildlife, even to the point of extinction. Maybe if people wanted to enjoy the outdoors, they would care what they were doing to it. Oh well, at least my friends will no longer be able to invite me camping in the woods.
Now, camping is another thing. Why would you want to spend a night under the stars with people you care about when you can just do the later of that at home! Instead of “enjoying” nature for days on end and sleeping on the hard, rocky ground, you could just lounge on the couch and eat chips. Sounds like an adventure to me!
